Guilt
by filesfreak4life
Summary: So, yeah, it's based on the eppy In the Clamor and the Clangor cause I LOVE it. It's a JavaJunkie, of course, and I hope you like it!


"So, how is the Jason thing going?"

"Well, aside from the fact that he lavishes me with his riches, oh wait… I don't mind that!"

"Haha… very funny. Seriously though, how are things?"

"They're good…actually-" she stops mid sentence as Luke comes to pour more coffee into her coffee cup.

She smiles up at him with that innocent, 'look at me aren't I cute' Lorelai smile while Rory takes in the scene. At the arrival of Luke, her mother had grown quickly quiet, and seemed almost uncomfortable, which of course shouldn't be the case regarding the fact that it was Luke. When he left the table, she began her inquiry.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" she said, sipping on her coffee, and rolling her eyes.

"Well, let's see, we were having a happy conversation about your… Jason, and Luke comes to the table and suddenly Cat Kirk has your tongue?"

"That is sooo not true!"

"Uh, yeah it is sooo true! You stopped talking all together."

Knowing that Rory was right, she allowed herself to shrink into her chair a bit. "You're right…"

"So, what's up?"

"I don't know, I don't want Luke to know about the whole Jason thing."

"And why is that?"

"Because…"

"Yeah, uh… because why?"

"Just because?"

"Care to expand on that?"

"I can't"

"Don't say that you can't, because you really mean that you won't, which totally isn't fair, because you always yell at me until I break."

"No, Rory, I really can't… I don't know why I don't want him to know."

"Okay… well, you know about him and Nicole dating."

"Yeah, well…."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know… it's really weird to me, cause I never really pictured Luke with a girl like her, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." Rory says, smiling as she sips her coffee.

"Well what's that supposed to mean?"

"It's like the whole Rachel thing all over again."

"What Rachel thing?"

"You were so weirded out by her, and then when you thought that she was going to be here for a while, you wigged!"

"I did not wig!" she says, raising both of her eyebrows while shaking her head and putting a hand to her chest.

"Uh… yeah you did…. because you didn't like the idea of Luke being with Rachel."

"Well, I didn't, and you see how I was right about that, cause she ended up leaving him again."

"Yeah, I know, but mom… come on."

"What 'come on'? Rory where are you going with this?"

"Well, if Rachel isn't good enough and Nicole isn't good enough, then who do you see Luke with?"

She hesitates with her answer, but finally replies, "well… I don't know, just not them..."

"Not you?"

"What?"

"You heard me!"

"Yeah, I did, and I can't believe that even with him married you still think that there is something there! Kid, you're nuts!"

"While I would like to stay and tell you that my name is Pot and your name is Kettle, and that you're black too, I have to get back to Yale."

"Sure, leave when it's getting good."

As Rory leaves, Lorelai is forced to think about their conversation. She didn't have a thing for Luke, and Luke has certainly never had a thing for her, even if the entire town has said that for as long as she could remember. It just didn't work out like that. He was Luke. Luke was there to provide coffee, the occasional… well, more than occasional shoulder to cry on or ear to lend, and not to mention the fact that he was a regular handy man.

Nearly a week passed and she found out that he moved to Litchfield with Nicole, not bothering to tell her. Then he got mad at her for butting into his personal life and being upset with him. As usual, a loud fight ensued, and now in a fit of hunger and a desire to make up, she finds herself standing in the church with a crow bar being caught by the reverend, and getting ready to break the bells with Luke by her side.

Reverend Skinner provided the very much needed distraction for their little conversation, and she knew that now given the opportunity, she needed to drop it. She and Luke don't talk about their relationship. Perhaps the town was partly right about feelings between the two of them, and maybe that is why they have always walked eggshells around the idea of Luke and Lorelai. She wanted to forget it. He had other plans.

"Why?" he says again, not meeting her gaze.

"Luke, I don't know…"

"There has to be a reason Lorelai, or we both wouldn't have screamed at each other twice in one week, why don't you want me to move."

"Luke, I DON'T know!" she says, with a bit more force in her tone.

"Well, I can see that we're really getting somewhere with this…" he sighs while grabbing the crowbar from her hand and turning away from her.

After biting her lip while watching his form retreat, she gathers up all the courage that she needed, and plunges in head first.

"Damn it Luke! Why they hell do you have to make me feel guilty?"

"_Me_ make _you_ feel guilty? I'm sorry, but weren't you the one who sat in the diner and yelled at _me_ for not telling you that I had moved?"

"That's not what I'm talking about!"

"Well then what the hell are you talking about?"

"The whole Jason thing… and hell the Alex thing too! While we're at it, add Max into the mix too!"

"What? How can I make you feel guilty?"

"I can't tell you about these things just like you can't tell me about your things!"

"No, I tell you about my… things…"

"Okay, case in point a week ago you finally saw fit to mention to me, only after I caught you in the act of doing something for said apartment, that you had moved three weeks ago!"

"Yeah, and I pointed out that you never told me about this guy that you're dating!"

"It was because I felt guilty!"

"Guilty of WHAT!" he said, finally breaking into a near scream.

"I felt like I was cheating on you…" she says, after a few moments of silence, and barely above a whisper, with her eyes focusing on the floor.

He needed a minute to digest that last little tidbit. She was still focused on the floor at her feet as he contemplated her words and formed his own thoughts.

"I'm sorry Lorelai."

"For what? You didn't do anything… I'm overreacting."

"No… you're not." he says, looking up and trying to catch her eye.

"Luke, why'd you marry Nicole?" she said, feeling the need for the abrupt subject change.

"After seven years of whatever the hell it is that we have together, I finally decided that _we_ weren't going to happen, so I jumped into the first door that opened."

"The settling?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that… I mean, you said it with Rachel too."

"No, _you_ said it with Rachel… Oh man, Luke, really?" she says, finally realizing that his feelings went back that far.

"I never got to tell you that you were the reason why she left."

"What?"

"She said that the reason she left was because of another woman, and that she knew that there was something there… in fact she told me to not wait to tell you how I felt."

"Well, dammit Luke! Why didn't you say anything?"

"I tried!"

"Umm… I might be flighty at times, but I think that I would remember that conversation."

"No… I tried to tell you, and then Max came in, and the next day you were filling the town with yellow daisies."

"You didn't really come to pick up Bert?" she says, recalling the exact evening that all of this happened.

"No, Bert… uh… my toolbox was most used at your place, so I didn't mind it being there."

"And after all that happened with Max?"

"I didn't know what to say to you…"

"Well then, it seems like we've got a bit of a problem on our hands then." she says, sinking into the closest pew with a sigh.

"Yeah, well, timing has never been our friend, has it?"

They sit in silence for awhile, contemplating their situation, not knowing exactly what to do with this new insight.

"Luke…"

"Yeah?"

"Now that you've um..." she pauses, clearing her throat "well… settled… are the feelings still there?"

"Lorelai…" he says in a tone that was bordering on annoyed, but was something that she wasn't used to from him.

"No… it's stupid of me to ask. You're married, and I'm with Jason, and I can understand…"

"They're still there." he says in his trademark monotone.

Letting out a rush of breath that she was holding, all she could say was, "oh."

"You're right about the moving thing though… I'm not living with her, I'm just a rude guest… we should have ended it when we realized what we had done… it was a big mistake to try again."

"Luke, I'm not having this conversation with you to break off you and Nicole, I just think that we needed to talk about things."

"Oh, so… you want to have these things known, and then go on our merry way like nothing happened… I stay married to Nicole and you stay with this Jason guy?"

"No…Yes… Shit! I don't know Luke!" she screams, throwing her hands up in the air.

"I do."

"You what?"

"I know what should happen."

"Care to enlighten me?"

"Well first, I think we need to be honest with each other, and not forget that this conversation just happened.."

"I'm a regular Pinnochio."

"Yeah, see, I thought that he had issues with the lying thing…"

"He did, remember his nose grew every time he told a lie." she informs him, while pointing to her nose as an illustration.

"So, maybe that isn't a wise analogy."

"It's a perfect analogy, because you know that I wouldn't do anything to harm my adorable little button nose, now would I?"

"That makes sense only to you…"

"Yeah, well, you love me just the same." she says with a laugh.

"Yes, I do."

She stops the laughing at that, knowing that while it was just part of their typical banter, he was sincere.

"Okay, so what's the plan."

"I am going to finalize my divorce with Nicole."

"And?"

"And, I'm going to wait. I'm not going to tell you to break up with Jason and throw away a relationship for me—"

"When that is exactly what you are doing?"

"Lorelai, the second you got back from Europe, and we talked on your front lawn, I knew that I wasn't ever going to make it with Nicole. It really is no loss to me, and you can do whatever you want. If you want to see if you and Jason are really meant to be, then you go ahead and do it, because I only want what makes you happy. If you decide after a while that he's not mister right, then I will be waiting, and we can attempt to see what we have together. I want you to have time."

She was speechless. She sat in the pew in the dark church building staring at him completely speechless.

"Now, can we please break these bells?"

With that, she smiles, and gets out of the pew to follow him towards the bells. After a few minutes and a couple different types of clanging noises, the damage was done, and Stan's bells would ring no more, bring Kirk, Davy, and all of Stars Hallow peace.

Gathering up his tools, Luke started to pick up his toolbox and head towards the door when Lorelai stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. He turned and looked at her with a questioning glance.

"Luke… I don't need time."

"You don't?" he said with a small tone.

"Nope."

"And?"

"I'm going to go see Jason tomorrow and tell him it's off."

"Lorelai, you don't-"

"Yes, I do."

They share a moment of silence before closing the space between them. After a few long but mild kisses, they separated.

"That has been such a long time coming."

"I agree."

"However, you're still married, and I still have a boyfriend, and we just basically broke a commandment while standing inside a church."

"What is it that you say… upgraded suites in Hell?"

"Yeah, well, now that we're together, maybe we'll get the Honeymoon suite?"

With a small smile, he bends down to pick up his toolbox, and the two walk out of the church hand in hand.

_So this is a little one shot, cause I've always liked that episode, and I was watching it the other day... So yeah, there you have it! Hope you liked!_


End file.
